Tuesday, 27 January 2009

Ok subconscious, I hear you

I had a dream last night in which I was incredibly busy colour coordinating my bathroom towel collection while everyone dashed and zoomed around me. Every so often friends would flit by on their way from Busy Job 1 to Worthy Life 2, and then they would leave and carry on, while I stayed behind contemplating towel formations.

I awoke in a cold sweat. Am I really just hiding away doing the equivalent of organising towels? Trying to kid myself that I am being worthy, when all I am doing is finding excuses to not join the real world yet again? Agh! Subconscious, stop it. I don’t need you beating me up from within, I do it perfectly well while I am awake.

And I’m not sure where this dream sprang from, as this week has so far been ok. I am still waiting to hear back from an enormously positive thing (send me good vibes, please!) that is book connected but isn’t agents / publishers yet. I shall tell you more on that as soon as I know, don’t dare say too much in case I somehow put it all in jeopardy. Whoop! And that is all I will say about that.

I also completed a long job application whatsit, found an interesting freelance thing that could be good if I get it, contacted a local magazine with an idea that they haven’t rejected outright (in my world this is positive), worked on the book, been for a long walk, played with the cats, and have stopped adding salt to every meal and drinking fizzy drinks. The body is now a temple. Shame about that tea-time cake though.

I also naughtily bought myself a white blouse with a ruffled neck line – it looks Edwardian and I love it. It was in a sale but was still thirty squids, which is thirty squids too many for me to spend, but I haven’t actually bought any clothes at all since November and I was starting to get twitchy. I still am desperately twitchy it has to be said – all shops are starting to get decked in a rosy glow. I might be writing about the 1940s (sort of) but I never realised I would be following the ‘make do and mend’ criteria.

I think I am a method writer anyway. I'm having my own austerity year, but please let me stop rationing soon!

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