Per aspera ad astra!

Through difficulties to the stars!

Where's me hands?!

It’s been very hard to write anything over the last couple of months, and testimony to that is the lack of blog posts. When you’re feeling sad your fingers are sad too; they droop and wilt over the keyboard, complain of headaches when they strike the keys, and refuse to type anything other than exceedingly bad poetry. But when writing stories is the thing that seems to complete you; that defines how you see yourself; that is at once relaxing and fun and provides escapism, then sooner or later it’ll be time to pick up the metaphorical quill again.

There is so much to say and perhaps I’ll soon catch up relaying marvellous events – there was a brilliant vintage hen party complete with Victory rolls and garnished by the Best of British Swing Ball (a dance, not a sport). There was an amazingly gorgeous wedding in a 15th century Royal Palace. There has been much riffling through vintage fairs to find gorgeous dresses (for above wedding), a visit to Somerset that sparkled through the rain-drops, a boy-band concert that was a nostalgic teenage time-warp, and dancing – much dancing, with a 1940s rock-step and Charleston happy feet.

But there have also been many moments of reflection and wondering about my Curriculum Vitae – my journey (course) through life. Oh, so much Latin today! Partly I’m excited for the future – all those possibilities – but equally I’m fearful, and that’s the problem. There’s a pesky internal scuppering that seems to go on behind the scenes and I’m sick of it! Begone, scampering scupperers.

And what about the never-ending story? What about The Novel? The good news is that I did a read-through a few days ago and like it more than ever. The better news is that I’ve booked two whole days off the 9-5 to write my fingers (and thumbs) off, which is coming up just around the nearest weekend-shaped corner. Bring it on, I say. Let's visit those stars.

Writing workshop with Nicola Morgan

One of the best things you can do for your writing self, if at all possible, is to attend a writing workshop or a conference. Not only do we benefit from the insight of professional people within publishing, but for that day, evening, or hour, we live as writers – we are writers, and everyone around us writes, and these are our people, and this is our industry.

For me, both aspects are equally important. Writers work in isolation – we physically tuck ourselves away to write, and then mentally retreat from real life into the fantasy world of words. It can be hard to keep the flame alive, especially for unpublished folk who maybe don’t have anyone else cheerleading for them – time and again you have to speak against the doubting voice in your head, and it can be hard to convince yourself ‘I am a writer; I will be an author’, especially if the majority of your day is spent being someone else entirely.

Workshops are fab as they reaffirm our ambitions and aspirations. They are even nicer when they are run by someone like Nicola Morgan - a successful published author who clearly knows her stuff and delivers considered advice in a thoroughly engaging way. Readers of her blog, Help! I Need a Publisher!, will know that she holds the number one google ranking for ‘Crabbit Old Bat’, a moniker bestowed because of her honest forthright opinions on writing. What I've also discovered is that self-confessed crabbit old bats are also warm, witty, and incredibly nice people.

I was attending the workshop with Vikki, the writer behind Back to the Castle (and musician / costume maker extraordinaire), and so caught the 4.50 from Paddington up to Oxford. Being a huge Agatha Christie fan I was very tickled to get this train, although I’m happy to report there was a distinct lack of murders.

After a whistle-stop tour of the centre of Oxford, cunningly planned to incorporate a stop for delicious cake, we descended on Blackwell’s lovely bookshop. There was a good sized crowd of people with notebooks already seated as we scurried into place, and a show of hands revealed that we were nearly all fiction writers, with a small scattering of non-fiction amongst our number. Nicola’s talk was everything I was expecting but with added sparkle – she brought characters with her to demonstrate the numerous ways writers can fall into pitfalls, such as the dramatic woman in love with her own prose, the elderly lady who wants to write for children as ‘it’s easy’. This was a really clever and fun way to highlight key points from her presentation.

The part of the workshop I was most looking forward to was writing the pitch paragraph. This is the paragraph that appears in your covering letter – the bit that condenses your novel, the hook that sells your story. I am currently at this stage and so need all the help I can get! We’d been nicely led to this crucial moment - Nicola imbibing us with knowledge, and the red wine served at the interval perhaps giving a bit of Dutch courage. All I know is that for the first time I really seemed to get it – a paragraph fell from my pen onto my notebook, and I really, really like it. It needs a bit more work but the bones are there now, which is brilliant. Not only that, but all attendees got a free copy of Nicola’s e-book, Write A Great Synopsis, which I am halfway through reading and heartily recommend already.

And the best way to end such a magical evening? A glass of wine with friends in a lovely high-ceilinged Art Deco bar. Cheers to Oxford, Blackwell’s, Nicola Morgan, and Vikki! I now have some writing to do. *grins*

Query letters

The only thundercloud that masks the sunshine and light of writing a novel is the bit when you actually begin to make marks on the page. The conclusion may therefore be drawn that the sunshine and light part is the thinking about writing a novel - the research and sketching of a tetchy skeleton idea. The rest of it sends your stomach into plunging knots, your hopes on a roller-coaster ride, and your clutching, grasping fingers to the nearest biscuit barrel, or coffee-jar. Or alcoholic beverage.

Yes, I’m writing a query letter. (Again, she whispers. The other one didn’t count.)

Now, my problem is this: I had a query letter. The two paragraphs in it that described my novel worked really well. They won a prize. People liked it. Everything in query letter world was massively happy. Apart from...

... the novel rewrite has meant my paragraphs are redundant. They are now ex-paragraphs. Oh, they work at a push, and I’m sure if agent folk read them and thought hm! (in a happy hm! sort of way) that they would then go on to read the synopsis and chapters and probably think even more happy hm! type thoughts. But they might not. They might instead think 'why doesn’t that synopsis quite match the query letter?' Most terrifyingly they might think 'do I want to work with an author that doesn’t spot her query and novel don’t quite match?' My inner editor is cringing as it knows I should rewrite the golden paragraphs to make them fit. But I don’t wanna! I just don’t. I’d rather lick the road. (In fact, we have been through this horror list before.)

Even worse than rewriting those two paragraphs is re-doing the paragraph writing about me. Me on me – now you’d think, surely, that I could do that one, and be convincing about it. If anyone knows me, it’d be...well... me. But because query letters are so butt-achingly important my fingers seem to jam up on the keyboard. Remember the glorious mess you could get into with typewriters when you banged all the keys at once and everything jammed? Yes, exactly that. I feel like I am constantly reaching for mental Tippex (and the delete button).

The annoying thing is I know I can do this. I know that agents will like to work with me, if we ever get that far. But until I can un-jam my fingers it’s just not going to happen. I did hear a rumour that cupcakes do wonders for unjamming, so am off to find a few at lunch-time to eat after dinner and then we’ll see what happens. But since the next chance I’ll have to think about query letters, novel, and my life in general is a whole eight hours away (yay, full-time work, she says weakly) then perhaps a miracle will happen in-between times and it'll work itself out. Or, maybe and more likely, this evening I’ll sit at the computer with my brain lolling in my lap and only have the nodes connected enough to think ‘must find 80s music on YouTube’. Sadly, that is how some evenings roll. It is too early as yet to tell which way this Monday will jump.

Distracted

1.    Hooray! Time to write.
2.    I’ll just make a coffee
3.    I’ll just check Twitter
4.    And Blogger
5.    Ooo that looks interesting – I’ll read that link
6.    I’ll comment. Best sign in
7.    Now I’m in I’ll visit some other blogs and comment
8.    I’ll update my own blog while I’m here
9.    Best update Twitter
10.    Have I checked my email?
11.    Ah. Just got to reply to that one. And that other one.
12.    Best check my work email just in case
13.    Hooray! Now I can start writing
14.    I’ll just go and make another coffee
15.    I really fancy listening to some music
16.    Love that video. Oh, I remember that song
17.    What are the lyrics to that song?
18.    I really need to sing along to this
19.    Found them! Let’s play and sing.
20.    I can sing a different song SO much better
21.    Found other song. Sing that instead
22.    Where are the cats?
23.    I’m hungry
24.    I really need to eat something sweet
25.    Biscuits are marvellous
26.    Where is my notebook?
27.    My notebook was under that really interesting book
28.    Might just read that page
29.    Will google that author and see what else they have written
30.    Will buy that on Amazon
31.    Where is my credit card?
32.    Marvellous. Oh, I might buy that DVD as well.
33.    Must back away from Amazon.
34.    I really need to write something
35.    I’m cold – need to find a jumper
36.    Hooray! I’m at my desk
37.    Where are my glasses?
38.    Wonder if I’ve had an interesting email yet?
39.    Wonder if the postman has been?
40.    Seriously, where are the cats?
41.    I’ll just go and make a cup of tea
42.    Wonder if anyone has commented on my blog?
43.    What can I see outside the window?
44.    I need to water that plant
45.    Who eats the pens in this house?
46.    Oh – the tumble dryer is beeping
47.    Might just cuddle the cats for a bit
48.    A snooze might help my creativity
49.    Is it time for lunch?
50.    I love days at home writing

Flurry of Things

That sounds like a title that should be used by speech therapists. However, a thlurry of fings have been happening on the writing-front, despite August hitting me with a slumber stick. Here is a mini round-up:

1. I attended a brilliant short story workshop in Northampton run by the writer Helen Hunt. It was called Insight to the Women’s Magazine Fiction Market – and she delivered a cracking workshop, packed full of information, as well as lunch! Met some lovely people and chatted about writing all day. Sadly I have no time at present to get going on ideas for that field but at least now I know more for when I do!
Find out about Helen's next workshop on her blog: fictionisstrangerthanfact.blogspot.com

2. I submitted some blog posts to the Writers’ and Artists’ Yearbook website and three have gone online all at once! This is amazingly exciting for me – if you have time, please do pop over and leave me a comment – it would be wonderful to hear from you. Swing by and find out about:

- My thoughts on Page Fright – be gone,Writer's Block!

- What it felt like to do to work experience later in life - Gaining Writing Experience

- What I think about the big R – Rejection (it may be an evil blighter, but there are lessons to learn.)
Hope you like them!

3. I am rewriting my novel. This is both hugely exciting and deadly, excruciatingly, terrifying. I’m feeling quite energised about it at the moment though, so am back to writing as much as I can around the full-time job, and utilising lunch-times and saved holiday allowance.
I have a whole six days off soon to write - whoop!

4. I bought Nicola Morgan’s book 'Write to be Published' and highly recommend it. If you have Nicola's book, Stephen King’s 'On Writing', and literary agent Carole Blake's 'From Pitch to Publication' on your bookshelf then I don't think you can go too far wrong. I also went to Nicola's book launch at Foyle’s in Charing Cross, met up with fab friends made via this blog, and even won a Crabbit bag. I am chuffed.
Find out more about Nicola Morgan, and her books, via her blog: helpineedapublisher.blogspot.com

5. I have started the OCD social media checking regarding any news on certain short story competitions. I can’t say which competitions as I fear a giant Jinx will smash down from on-high with its hairy foot. Both competitions do not even announce their shortlist until October. I am, ooo, about thirty days way too early.
Perhaps I have OCOD (obsessive compulsive online disorder).

6. I am going to mention Nicola Morgan again and I hope she doesn’t think I am being too gushing, but as well as being a busy fab author lady, she runs a writing consultancy called Pen2Publication. If you are at the stage where you need guidance or direction with your novel / writing, and are ready to accept criticism in order to find out how to be a better writer, then do check out what the consultancy can offer you. I did, and it is probably one of the best things I have ever done for my writing career to date.

Find out more about Pen2Publication here: pen2publication.co.uk

So that’s me in a Technicolor writing nutshell. And now it's time to welcome September with cosy knitted jumpers, warm scarves, glorious colours and crisp fresh air. As well as hiding my birthday, I always feel this is a magical month, full of promise. Good wishes for your own writing!

Any previous, guv’nor?

On my blog profile I had put that I was working on my first novel while ‘ignoring the previous three hiding in disgrace under the bed.’ But this was, in fact, wrong. I just didn’t realise it.

Part of my learning process of writing a novel has been appreciating just what such an undertaking actually means. I had a serious think about my fiction writing the other day, and this is the grand tally over the years:

• One complete adult novel - 2007 onwards
  
• Three complete short stories currently ‘out in the field’- 2010 onwards
  
• Three adult ideas that each only made it as far as three chapters, with not even a chapter plan between them. - 2002 - 2006
  
• Two complete illustrated children’s picture books (one too short) - 1997 - 2000
  
• One first draft of a finished mid-grade children’s novel (although also short in actual word-count, I think) - 1990 - 1991
  
• Umpteen fun and false starts in all sizes and guises. - 1982 onwards
  

So really the current novel is the first – the first that I have planned, plotted, sweated, slaved and whooshed its way to creation and back again. (I did work bloody hard on the children’s picture book stories though.)

I’m grateful to all the other ideas as they have each helped me get this far, but I am deluding myself to think that any were actual finished novels – not in the grand novelly scheme of things.

So this is an interesting thought to have, and I’ll only whisper it once in case it gives me indigestion.

This current novel might not be the first one that gets published. It could be the practice novel for the better one I have yet to write.

Of course, I will cry buckets if that happens. I will declaim life is not fair; I will stare tragically into space ‘at all times’, and I will adopt a pathetic sigh. But thinking about it, as much as I love and adore this novel, it is unusual for a ‘first’ novel to get published. And as much as I hope my novel may be an exception, it may not, to be honest with you.

I’m not at this stage giving up on it. In fact, I am about to give it the best chance of its life.

*cue dramatic pause*

*cue annoying change of subject*

Funnily enough, there is something rather liberating about thinking that the next novel – the one that takes all these lessons and graduates with a PHD - could be the idea that makes it. But maybe that's because I'm close to sending this one off again (end of June, I am thinking) and the thought of it makes me feel slightly sick.

Perhaps we need to adapt that old saying – 'every day and in every way our writing is getting better and better.' Say it with me!

Do you have any full-length novels hiding away in a drawer?

The trouble is no desk, m’Lord

I’m feeling like a displaced oyster at the moment. (Bear with me on this.) When I moved back home I knew I’d be setting up my computer in my bedroom, which although swims in fitted furniture, doesn’t swim with a desk. So my options were balancing the PC on top of a chest of drawers, or on top of a dresser.

I tried the first option for a while but had to sit on my bed and twist around into the Uncomfortable Writer pose. After a while something had to give (chiefly my knees) and I shifted camp to the second option. This meant I could sit on a chair (whoop!) but again only at a diagonal as my knees fight the hard drive, which always wins (‘cos it’s hard, innit?).

If that wasn’t bad enough, the PC has decided to die a long loud death and doesn’t like me working on it anymore. I know I need to give it some more memory but the thought of chiselling off its dusty casing fills me with dread, especially as I seem to be Static Girl with anything shiny. Can Static Girl cause explosions? I’m not sure north London wants me to find out.

So the other option is working downstairs on a laptop. This means I get to sit at a table (double-whoop!) but have to pack everything away sharpish if people want to, say, eat dinner at the table, or anything strange like that. So I am constantly shifting folders of notes everywhere and have ended up in a noteworthy muddle. It also means I have to be shit hot at typing through Eastenders and conversations, as well as very dedicated to not spend the evening being sucked into films like Back to the Future. (Although who can fail to be charmed by lines like ‘the flux capacitor is fluxing nicely’?)

I feel like my writing needs a little corner to call its own. Some place that I’ve pegged off to say this area is for writing and typing. There is one other option by the cats litter tray but it doesn’t feel that auspicious, does it? I don’t suppose Tolkien started creating hobbits surrounded by Fussy Puss Litter, Extra Strength. It just feels a bit wrong. I know some authors write in their shed, but our shed has shed things in it. Perching on top of a lawn-mower being watched by spiders doesn’t appeal either.

Ah well, I know I’ll work around this and sort something out. Sometimes I think my brain spins up excuses for me to not write, as if I ‘can’t’ do it then I can’t send things away and my stories can’t be rejected. Oh brain, you cunning annoying thing, you. I don’t want this sort of protection – I want to get going!

Yoga and Cake

There are moments in life when you ask yourself questions. I had such a moment today when I was doing my best hot damp slug impression in Bikram Yoga. The question was ‘Why am I here?’ and it wasn’t one of those philosophical soul-searching moments, more of a ‘What’s really so wrong with slobbing about, anyhow?’ type things.

I doubt any of the super-bendy contortionists at the front of the room were thinking similar thoughts. I suspect they were At One with themselves (and the mirror.) This is probably where I am going wrong. I’m just not Zen enough - although it’s hard to be Zen and At One when sweating bare feet waft a perilous inch from your nose. Even harder when the person in front kicks their leg up and you can see what only their ever-loving partner should. Shorts that fit, now there's an invention. It’s not like you can close your eyes either, as you have to keep them open ‘so your energy stays in the room’. I don’t know where my energy goes, but I suspect it gambols down the front in amazement at the stretchy ones; it certainly doesn’t stay with me.

That said; I did come out of class feeling full of good intentions, and decided to go home via a different train route in order to finish the day with a three-mile walk. Sounds good, huh? Angelic, almost? I thought so too, and let me tell you it was just sheer coincidence that this route also includes my favourite tea-shop which sells cupcakes. I know! What are the chances, eh? You can’t let opportunities like this slide, so pretty soon I was safely ensconced inside, notebook open, pen at the ready, ready to rock the Mad Person Writing in Public look.


I’d just got to the part where you catch yourself mouthing part of the dialogue (never a good look when sat by yourself) when this poem came out of nowhere, plonked itself down and said ‘Are you writing me or what?’ So instead of working further on the short story, I spent the remainder of time happily scribbling a rhyme. Sometimes that’s just the way writing goes.

And in case you are wondering what the big surge of exercise is all about – take a look at this:


There may be a holiday on the horizon. *grins*

Make it happen

I’ve had a short story idea poking me with a stick for months and yet it ran away every time I tried to pin it to paper. After repeated efforts involving a lasso, bear traps, and strategically placed chocolate, I finally had a paragraph. I didn’t even like it very much. It seemed the little story wasn’t meant to be.

Today didn’t feel like an auspicious writing day. For a start I’m at work, puzzling over a system and a thingy and a whatsit. Systems, thingys and whatsits do not make me feel very creative. I also feel a bit poorly; a bit flu-ish and sickly and pathetic-cough. The stars weren’t aligned; the magic writing fairy was snoring in a corner. The last thing I wanted to do during lunch was take myself to a coffee shop and try and write. So where did I end up?

That’s right; I did it anyway.

And you know what? The little story idea let me catch it for a short while. I managed to scribble nearly two pages, all the while frowning horribly, biting my pen, chuckling to myself and displaying all known signs of Mad Woman Writing in Public. All too soon the imaginary timer pinged and I had to come back to the office, but this time I have two pages of story, and despite the system, thingy and whatsit; despite the flu-ish, sickly, and pathetic-cough; I feel rather happy.

What Writers Want for Christmas

Families and friends of wannabe writers! This post is for you. This is what the aspiring author in your circle would love for Christmas and the New Year.

1. Start random conversations and drop in ‘when you’re an author’ as many times as you possibly can. Some examples: ‘Do you have to get that early train to work? Never mind, when you’re an author you can work from home.’ Or: ‘Won’t it be lovely this time next year when you’re an author?’ And even: ‘Let’s go into this book shop and see where your books will be placed on the shelves when you’re an author.’
   


2. A fancy, gorgeous, beautiful notebook. And then a plain, bog-standard, scruffy notebook that they will actually use.


3. An hour of quiet every single day for them to write with no interruptions.


4. A ream of plain white A4 printer paper. And another. And another.


5. Ink cartridges for their printer. Back up ink cartridges for when the printer runs out halfway through something bloody important.


6. The promise that you will gently steer them away from whatever procrastinating activity they have desperately embarked on (colour co-ordinating sock drawer, preoccupation with ironing napkins) back to their computer / writing desk.


7. No complaints, yawns, tapping of watches, or general Look of Gloom when they disappear into a book shop for hours. Instead greet them afterwards with the same enthusiastic welcome as a triumphant marathon runner.


8. If they care to share with you a plot point, do not let your gaze slide past them to Top Gear. Listen to them; support them; and make them a cup of tea.


9. Stephen King’s ‘On Writing’; The Writers’ and Artists’ Yearbook 2011; a subscription to a writing magazine; and bookshop vouchers.


10. And finally, the most important thing: Your belief that they can do it. Hooray!

Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Being dynamic vs. being...well...not

Every day at work I hope that something amazing will happen to change my life. I obsessively check my email (work, personal, random web-mails that no one knows anyway), check my phone in case I have missed The Call (ever hopeful there will be a call), and check my blog. What am I waiting for? Well – like many of us here – I am waiting to hear that someone likes my novel, my ideas, and my fiction competition entry (go on, I'm nice; the stories are nice - please!) But am I creating enough opportunities for any of this to happen or am I just being passive?

I fear the latter. I always think there is more I can be doing, more I should be doing, to promote myself and my writing. I should be snuffling around every opportunity like a pig with a truffle (or like a girl with a Twirl chocolate bar). I should be hell for leather going for it, instead of sitting here waiting. So let’s see what I am actually doing and if anything can be improved.

1. Novel. Friends are reading it and giving advice on some small changes. I am working on these edits (mainly with dialogue contractions) and am doing more on my synopsis. I am also plotting another book with some of these characters and am reading back through the original to see what I can play with next time around. (So much fun!) This redraft (have lost count how many) should be finished in a few days. It will be then be shiny and ready for a fabulous agent to enjoy.

2. Ideas. I have sent two follow-up emails about something I hoped to work on, and sadly both seem to have fallen into a black hole. I am gutted as it was something I really wanted to happen but there is only so much I can pester without turning into, well, a pest. But it is a busy time of year so I must be patient, continue thinking positive, and come up with some more ideas just in case it goes ahead after all.

3. Competition Entry. People are due to be notified in December and I’m only two days in. Winners are not announced until March anyway so I should not be thinking about this at all. Oh but I wanna! I want it so bad. I want everything so bad!

So now I have listed things I can see that I am doing quite a few things already. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like anything is happening as there are no physical results but, under the surface, everything is ticking on nicely!

Contractions in Dialogue

Popping in very quickly as today I have a day off ‘real’ work to do what I like to think of as my personal real work – work on my novel. As per, sometimes my body forgets that these days off are not proper days off and likes instead to lie about slovenly and watch random television. I have to bribe it with biscuits to sit here and write/redraft. And today would be the day when I have no chocolate whatsoever and am reduced to eating biscuits from the back of the bread bin. Yup, the Biscuits That Taste Forgot.

I still eat them though.

Today one of the things I am checking within my novel is the dialogue. What I am looking out for is things like ‘I am’ rather than ‘I’m’ – when speaking, unless there is a reason to say it precisely, mostly folk would use a contraction and say ‘I’m taking the dog for a walk’ rather than ‘I am taking the dog for a walk’. The latter brings a whole new stress to the tone of the dialogue – if you say it out loud it sounds like the person speaking is highly exasperated with the person asking, i.e.

Parent (asking even though is watching teenage son fixing dog leash to dog): What are you doing?
Teenage son: I am taking the dog for a walk. (Optional ‘durr’ on the end.)

It is more natural to use contractions within dialogue – it’s for it is, I’m for I am, that’s for that is, etc. I’m taking advantage of a quiet house to declaim my dialogue to the cats (they are thrilled) so I can listen to my speech. The trick is reading aloud exactly what I have written and not what I ‘think’ I have written!

Chirpy Reflection’s Answer to Rejection

Rejection: My story sucks the big one.
Chirpy Reflection: Now come on! (And darling, don’t revert to teen speak when you are in your thirties, it isn’t becoming.) There could be many reasons why your story wasn’t right this time, and it isn’t necessarily that your story… ahem… that your story isn’t the best it can be. But use this time – do you have doubts about your story? If so work on them! If you are satisfied that this story is the best ever then send it out again.

Rejection: My life is a big fat pile of poo.
Chirpy Reflection: No it isn’t!
Rejection: Yes it is.
Chirpy Reflection: No it… actually let’s not go there. A rejection isn’t the end of the world. The sky is still blue, the birds still sing. Understand it is not personal. I know you are eager to get on and sometimes it feels like life is on hold (while the years tick on, how does that work eh?) but everyone who is anyone goes through this stage. Look at JK Rowling…
Rejection: Please, please don’t tell me Harry Potter was rejected umpteen times before it was taken on. I know that story. I’ve injected that story to my veins. Please, no more. Leave me to wallow.
Chirpy Reflection: No can do I’m afraid. The lovely JK isn’t the only author to be rejected a few times before being published. Look darling, it happens. It means you are on your way. It doesn’t make everything in life a turd during the process, trust me.

Rejection: Why don’t they like me?
Chirpy Reflection: Honey, what did I say up there? It’s not personal, sweetheart, they don’t know you. If they met you they’d think you were the bee's knees. As it is, revise your query. Read it over again – anything you’d change? Now is your chance – take it with both hands! If you believe in it as it is, jump back on the merry-go-round. Besides, the right place for your story is out there. Make sure everything is ready for when that day arrives.

Rejection: I hate waiting, I hate it!
Chirpy Reflection (solemnly): The best things in life are worth waiting for. And don’t throw your pen at me.

Almost there!

It’s a beautiful day, hey hey… Good morning world! I am feeling positively chipper today despite the grey moody sky and have a list of things as long as my arm to crack on with.

(Incidentally, is it just me or do you also hate ending sentences with a preposition? In my eyes it makes a sentence look unfinished, weak, and a bit needy, like it wants a cuddle. What do you think?)

I also have to say that I’m struggling slightly as my internet connection is pants and my elderly computer is showing signs of early circuit dementia. I am frantically bailing memory hogging applications so I can continue the finishing touches to the novel, but it’s a bit touch and go. I fear this computer will soon have to be retired and start its new life as a dust covered ‘ornament’ adorning the spare room. Somewhere in the spare room (the Spare Room of Doom) is my old iMac computer which cannot even remember its own name. I am terrified of binning it in case identify theft bastards somehow pounce on it in the local dump and manage to chisel out my bank details. They surely would have to be Neo from The Matrix, but in this day and age it’s a legitimate (but paranoid) worry, isn’t it?

The local ‘dump’…I never thought about it before (probably because I thankfully don’t spend much time musing on the word ‘dump’) but it is slightly onomatopoeic, not that it is going to be added to my favourite word list any time soon. I wonder if our local dump has a real name - perhaps something like ‘Neighbourhood Household Refuse Too Big to Get Away with Concealing in a Black Bin Bag’. Although God knows folk around here like to chance their arm – I walked past what looked like half a tree sticking out of a pile of bin bags the other day.

Anyway where was I? Ah yes. Doddery computers. So currently my internet connection is on a drip.



What you can see there is masking tape holding my broadband in place. So if anything looks shonky around here (great word invented by the lovely Kit Courteney) then you know the reason why.

And now I really do have to prise myself away – got two days off real work in order to work my fingers off getting the novel ready. Almost there, folks! In fact, I rather think this weekend will be It. Eek!

And on that happy note – I shall leave you with Abigail and Ginger. I think you can guess which is which!

What I’ve given up becoming a writer

Alcohol. (On your own, I hear you cry.) Surely writers and wine go hand in hand? Maybe they do for some but I have to plan my indulgence, and, in the genius words of Elmer Fudd, be wery wery careful. You know what it is like, you catch up with friends, get a large glass of wine, get another as you think it saves time going to the bar (oh the hassle), and the next day the only word I can spell is ug. This would be great if I was writing a caveman epic, but I feel more is expected, somehow.

Sanity. Did I just mutter that plot point aloud? Am I in the company of strangers? Uh. Oops.

Socialising. Yes, sadly this also has to be measured. That fantastic story idea won’t write itself. There will be invites to turn down, holidays forfeited, events missed, exhibitions unseen. Friends will wonder where you have gone. Heck – even I wonder where I have gone!

Elegant fingernails. Forgetaboutit!

Sleep. I stay up far too late plotting and get up far too early so I can do some more before real-life job. Mostly I cannot sleep anyway for thinking of stories and words and plot points. I wake up at odd moments in the dark and think ah-ha! I have been known to turn on the light and scrabble for a pen and notebook. I have also been known to resemble the Grinch the next morning.

Pert butt. The odds are sadly not in our favour with this.

Eyesight. (Squints) I am surrounded by computer screens. In-between travelling from one computer screen (home) to another (work) I stare at my phone instead. The very rare occasion when I am not bathed in sickly light from a monitor I find myself eyeballing a television. I think my eyes hate me.

Time. (Glances up) Is it summer?


***


But this is the life we choose, my friends, and I think we'd all agree - it's worth it!

Proof that redrafting has taken over my life

On the way to work today my mind idled upon whether or not to be seduced by the chain-store coffee shop as I changed from Delayed Train One to Stupidly Delayed Tube Two. I had been fooled by the promise of good coffee from this place before, when what I got was a few squirts of brown boiling steam. And you know what I thought to myself? I thought:

Do not be tempted by the offer of ‘good coffee’. Good coffee is a bad literary device...

And then I blinked and wondered what on earth I was thinking! Is this proof that redrafting has finally sent me bonkers?

Good news is that I have finished the edits from the final print out (or rather, draft eight). Since then I have been tackling four pages of ‘anomalies’ (pictured below) – these are general queries and questions about the story for me to answer / sort out / ponder upon.



For example – some of these anomalies were changing character names. A lot of the time I will think a name goes really well together and sounds really good in my head, only to discover that it’s the name of a 1980s TV presenter, or my old junior school teacher, or a friend’s ex-boyfriend. I remember once an old novel idea of mine that had the name ‘Andy McNab’ in it, as I thought the name sounded good, and then I realised I’d obviously seen it in a book shop / newspaper somewhere! (Andy McNab being a best-selling action author.) So I have to doubly check the names I have used. There’ll be more on the topic of anomalies later!

Another thing I have been doing is recording an audio version of my story. Oh my. There are a couple of reasons for this – one being to speak the words aloud and see how true they sound, the other to listen and gauge if it all hangs together and works well on the ear. Sadly I have to also listen to my voice! Who is that girl with the odd accent? I feel I need to do some vocal warm ups, whatever they are. My dodgy voice aside, this was a really excellent idea. I cannot stress it enough. There were a lot of superfluous words creeping in the body of my text – even in the beginning chapters – which I hadn’t spotted before, but after listening I could safely take out them out without compromising the story. Managed to prune 800 words from the first three chapters – and I was thinking those puppies were done and dusted! Just goes to show I must never get that complacent. I have only recorded the beginning chapters for now, but will go over the whole book in time.

You'll be pleased to hear that my furry writing coaches have been hard at work keeping me focused by snoozing on all my important papers. Even better than that, Ginger kindly let himself be an additional work surface when I was running out of room.

I just cannot go wrong with writing coaches like that! Helpful, cuddly, and always sitting on the thing I want to find. Like homing beacons. Although I am starting to get paranoid that my eventual queries will be sent out with bonus cat hair.

How do you take yours?

Breakfast that is? Today I am having porridge…. with a crumbled chocolate Twirl bar swirled around, and a sprinkling of sugar. My Saturday breakfast! Do you have treat breakfasts at the weekend?

Hm. Has this Saturday breakfast contributed to my recent dentist visit? Surely not…

After breakfast, during which my cats will plague me like they have never been fed and make me feel like Goldilocks haunted by two small furry bears, I will attempt the Grand Reconstruction of the House. An hour whirl of general tidying mayhem, in which things get flung in the washing machine, things get flung in their rightful places, and things get flung out of my way. After that hour, I will look around and decide I like the new look, regardless of what is hanging where, and make a cup of coffee.

I shall then begin redrafting chapter 21. Blimey… basically it is a nice chapter, but doesn’t move the story onwards, and I feel I may have to get rid of it altogether. The main thing I like about it is the insight to the characters - their interaction is very good in this chapter, and I want what happens in chapter 22 to feel all the more… final, because of the warmth built upon in 21. But really 21 doesn’t do a lot apart from the nice insight and the humour, so maybe I can distil what actually happens to a paragraph in chapter 20, and insert the character insights and humour to an earlier stage, and then perhaps get rid of chapter 21 as it stands at the moment. It is a big decision, and one I won’t take lightly, but I think it is probably the way forward. Wish me luck!

Maintaining the balance

Thank you for all your wonderful comments on my last post! It was really interesting to read your thoughtful advice about how you balance your creativity with day-to-day living. I’m not one to hoard (apart from Agatha Christie books, chocolate, and random old tat), so this post is all about sharing the wealth! Also please do click through on the names – lovely folk, all of them.

1. KarenG mentioned about keeping a notebook handy when commuting as the people I see, conversations I hear, and descriptions of life around me could all be valuable research in the future. I always used to carry a notebook around with me but this has recently fallen to the wayside thanks to the acquisition of Jaws (my new handbag’s nickname; I swear it is after my skin). But it is time to reinstate the notebook again, as the most important thing it did, regardless of my scribbles, was it made me feel and think like a writer just by carrying it around with me. A positive mindset towards the right direction is invaluable for unpublished writers, and so the notebook will rise again (and Jaws will be left behind to terrify and snag the clothes in my wardrobe).

2. Melissa gave a great piece of advice, which was to stuff your writing in wherever you can! She also suggested trying not to ‘think’ when you are writing, but just let yourself go with the flow as you can think later on when you go back to edit. I have definitely been over-thinking the last two chapters of my novel-to-be, and it has really hindered my writing ability. So I shall try and adopt this process – a bit of free-form, just-get-it-on-the-page, good honest ‘you-go-girl’ writing. Fran also agreed with stuffing the writing in – it is definitely the way forward. I might do a bit a stuffing today in fact!

3. Sarahjayne said that she jots down notes and snippets of dialogue whenever and wherever she can, even if she accumulates scraps of paper. This was something else I used to do – I’d always have bits of the story typed into my phone, scribbled in my work diary, written on the back of my dentist appointment card. I decided to buy a small emerald green notebook to carry around with me and put all my story ideas into instead… and irrationally but instantly developed the fear that I’d lose the notebook to a Plot Nabbing Pilferer. They are out there somewhere! (Hang on; is that the motto of The X-Files?) But pilferers aside, it is a good idea to write down ideas when you get them, small little seeds can grow into big treacherous man eaters. Or roses, of course.

4. Joanne makes a to-do list of manageable goals each week so she can see what is ahead of her and what fits in with her schedule. I love this idea – starting each week with an achievable list for my writing. The key words here are manageable and achievable – I could put on my list that next week I will finish the redrafting, finish researching agents, finish my query and send the whole lot off by the next post, but all that will do is make me feel bad and sad (and no doubt mad) by Friday. I do believe in list power though, and if I keep my goals small then there will be the real joy of success by the end of the week. Thanks for this tip, I am definitely going to adopt it.

5. EmmaK writes in the afternoons when her kids are at school, and says this is perfect for her as she runs out of steam after three hours. Lilly also mentioned she sets aside 8 to 9 as her time to be creative. I think it is so important working out what time best suits your blend of creativity. After I was made redundant (a goodly while ago now) I found that my writing was at its best from 4pm to 2am. Now I work full-time, I try to kick-start that creativity early in the morning, especially at weekends, and it just doesn’t happen as well for me. But what I can learn from this is to do all my weekend chores in the morning, if I can, and then spend the rest of the day and evening writing.

6. Jen is usually raring to go when she gets in from work as her muse is angry she hasn’t had a chance to write all day… don’t suppose there is any chance I could borrow your muse, is there Jen?! Even without the forceful muse I think this shows I could frame my thoughts better. I need to be thinking ‘wow, now I can go home after work and write – how lucky am I!’ as opposed to ‘now I am really tired but I have to go home and write or die’ which is less than optimistic. Needless to say I am very impressed with this attitude already!

7. Roland puts aside fifteen minutes each night to type up any notes made in the day, and then those fifteen minutes often lead into a longer session. This makes me feel really good, as I guess I do put aside fifteen minutes already. It might not be strictly for novel-writing, but any writing I do can only help improve and build on what was before – it’s all practice. I’d love to make writing every day as natural as breathing, part of my daily routine, an imaginative work-out every bit as valuable as physical exercise.

8. Linda mentions a fantastic idea – doing daily pages. This is where you take a notebook and write spontaneously for three pages, and she uses it to tackle any tricky parts in her novel. I love this idea… one of my big problems is that I write straight into Word software, and sometimes I really feel the weight of that novel (currently 412 pages) pressing invisibly down on the little new scene I want to insert. Even if I open a new Word document I can still feel that pressure… but to take it completely away from the computer and just scribble, no matter whether or not it makes it to the novel itself… yes, I think I will enjoy this!

9. VR Barkowski carries a little memo tape recorder around for ideas, making sense of it all when she is finally in front of her computer. Janet also mentioned about something similar. This will be harder for me to do (of course, not everything suits everyone!) as I don’t have any privacy during the day, and feel awfully self-conscious even talking into a mobile via hands free. But I do actually tape myself with dialogue – I sit in the front of the computer and read parts out loud, and then play it back to listen to how it sounds. Sometimes I write an impassioned speech that just doesn’t translate to real humans. Speaking it out loud is another excellent way to edit. Roland also mentions he does a similar thing by speaking parts of his dialogue aloud in the shower for the acoustics - great idea! So now I am off to the bathroom, pages in hand…

10. Lilly mentions listening to inspiring music or audio books on the commute. I love this idea, Lilly! Although I can read books on the way to work, after a day staring at a computer I get eye-strain when trying to read on the bumpy journey coming home. At the moment I listen to music, but I never thought of audio books, and this is perfect for me. Not only do I get to be inspired by other stories, but I get to hear how vocabulary is pronounced, how language can sing, how words can be so visual. Fantastic – cannot wait! The only question is what book to start with…

11. TJ Carson makes an excellent point about taking time for yourself and not trying to push writing when you are really not feeling it. I think there is a lot of truth here – although we are told as writers we must work at it every single day, every single hour – all the time, in fact – there is a horrible guilt feeling that steals over me when I do something else, such as take time out with friends, go stand in the sun, or if I am feeling too tired or sick. No doubt this comes with learning that balance, and sure, there will be deadlines that have to be met, but as a beginner there is no urgency, no rush – just get that story as good as you can, and work when you feel at your peak.

12. Alexandra finds that she usually gets most of her writing done on a Sunday. I tend to swing happily between Saturday and Sunday as my favourite writing day. Saturday the house is quiet, and so I manage to get most of my plotting done, and sort out any big tricky scenes. Sunday the house is busier, but I tend to write like the wind on Sunday evenings – mainly as I have Monday work hanging over my head and know this is my last chance to get as much done as possible. I seem to work better when I hear that clock ticking.

13. Al mentioned a great piece of advice, which was simply to keep plugging away! Talli also mentioned for her it was ‘write or nothing’. I think self-determination is the key to getting things done in life, we all have to keep at it, keep that belief strong in our hearts and one day we will all be on those bookshop shelves. Bring it on!

14. Janet had some great tips – one that worked for her was entering her novel’s synopsis in a competition, as knowing there was a deadline really helped her to plot her novel and get the synopsis ready. I do believe that if you have won or been a finalist on a short story (or other fiction) competition then it is a great thing to mention on your query letter. It lets agents know that you have a track record, that you can actually write fiction! I haven’t entered any competitions, mainly because I feel I have so little time to write that any writing I do must be on The Big One. But the more tips from this list that I adopt, the more I might be able to create room for this as well, as I think working on a different story for a time might help me with the novel.

15. And last but not least, Melissa, Linda and T.J Carson all said about investing in a laptop or net book – something small I can carry about and type into when feel so moved. Oh I do agree… the cumbersome PC is lovely, but it currently is not in a great place for me to work. Roll on payday for this one!

Thank you once again – all appreciated! Any more tips and hints please let me know!

Finding a balance

One thing I struggle with is creating enough space to write around working a ‘normal’ full-time job. I worry that everyone else manages this with ease, perhaps with a child upon each knee, and in comparison I am disproportionately stupidly slow. I cannot seem to speed up, and so spend ages berating myself for being useless. The knock-on effect is that by the time I do actually try to write, I feel pretty sad about myself and so cannot think of anything to add to the page apart from ‘durr’.

As you can imagine this does not do me any favours!

At the moment I spend approximately around two and a half hours each day commuting to and from my job. Sadly it is the sort of commute where you don’t get a seat, but squeeze into corners on trains and tubes wishing you were somewhere else. So I cannot use that time to write, although I can use it to think – sometimes the best plot ideas come from times like this!

My job is in a busy office, with colleagues that sit fairly close by. I am very conscientious when working, and my job requires me to be on the ball and puzzling out various solutions. So I cannot sneak any writing into the days, and even blog posts (if long) are created at home and emailed to myself at work to whack online when I get a moment. Even that makes me feel guilt-ridden (it doesn’t take much, I admit).

At home I don’t have anywhere really to write. My computer is in an awkward place (the only spot it can go in) and I have to sit cross-legged on my bed in order to use it. It’s not ideal… but it is workable. The only thing that isn’t is me! I get in from work each evening, eat, fold myself into the spot in front of the computer, but no real writing happens! A few words, a few paragraphs… I know it is still all helping but it doesn’t seem to be that fast a creation. I also need my sleep… I get up early, so need to start snoozing at least by eleven, or else I am a cranky girl.

So there’s my big conundrum – am I really just going very slowly with writing/redrafting, or am I expecting too much of myself?

I think it is all about finding a balance, and I seem to be permanently teetering on one side or the other. Maybe I need to be more organised – leave the house earlier so I get to work and have time to write down the ideas / blog / catch up before work starts? And then only do that in the morning, so the evenings are just for writing. That sounds good… but is it realistic? In a way I suppose it is… set the alarm earlier, start the day earlier… there is really nothing stopping me apart from my reluctance to stir from bed!

How do you do it? Do you write full-time, or do you also fit writing (or being creative) in around a busy job or being a busy mum? If so how do you find a balance and make time for it?

And a big hello to all people following, and leaving comments. I appreciate it so much, thank you!

The Writer vs The Fly

I hear the buzzing and a small dart of black flies across my vision. It dive-bombs the screen, wheeling away again with a chuckle (or so I think). It circles my head, zooming so close to me I feel the ripple of displaced air. It is the Red Baron of the fly world.

At the moment all is silent. This means it is regrouping with its friends, ready to launch another dastardly attack. But I shall forward the special weapon – to arms Cats! To… oh, they are outside on the shed. Bless them for covering my back so efficiently (and so distantly).

For some reason chapter nineteen advances to the tune of Nessun Dorma. I have replayed this song on youtube more times than I think are healthy. But words are happening… slow, but you know, sort of steady.

*is that the sound of the Red Baron? I pause and listen to a distant buzz. Mapping the territory of the stairs, I presume*

Later, and the cats are in, which means the Red Baron has gone into hiding. I just know this means it is practising evasive manoeuvres in my bedroom. There won’t be a single tell-tale buzz while the cats are on the prowl, as to them a fly means a visit to the delicatessen to select a choice succulent olive. But in a few hours, just as I close my eyes to settle… oh yes.

I’ve reached chapter twenty by the way. I will still no doubt go back and pick at chapter nineteen, and chapter twenty is still a continuation of the same scene as before (sort of, ish, in passing) but moving onwards feels so good!

I still need to lose 7,000 words overall, though, to get down to my goal of 95,000 words. This leads me to a question. In a query most people mention the word count of their novel. If I send this out before finishing it, and put that the book comes in at 95,000 words, would agents be very cross if in fact it finishes at 100,000 instead? What do you think?