Today the sky swirled with grey and the greyness leaked into my mood like old paint water. I nodded on the tube, lulled by the clickety-clack of the wheels in motion and the fact I had a seat all to myself. I came home and ate, and tried to write, and my words ran out before… yes, just like that.
So this evening shouldn’t have been the night I tried to install a wireless printer. What is it with these things? Why are the instructions so obtuse? The first thing I had to do was move a little yellow bit of plastic from one slot to another slot. No explanations, no clue what on earth that means in printer world, just a grown up version of matching shapes. And from then on it all spiralled down – Ethernet cables that wouldn’t do what I wanted them to do (work, mostly), wireless not actually being wireless, things hidden behind settings panels hidden within small print navigation, CD-installing software that doesn’t install, printers that don’t recognise they are printers (what would it be instead – a sheep?). I appear to have the first printer in the world with multiple personality disorder.
I gave up after nearly 2 hours of fiddling around, and felt very small that I haven’t managed to complete the set up. I think my brain is too frazzled from grey-infected Monday. It didn’t help either that it was all for mum, who is now increasingly thinking that technology is all a Rather Bad Idea when I want to say no it is good… when it works, that is.
And now before I know it, it is 10pm and that means bedtime. I’m far too tired and grumpy for anything else. But then that just means work tomorrow, and then another bedtime, and then work and then bed… I always get like this when working full-time and not writing. The days just meld into one. Maybe it didn’t help either that I tried to do a bit more on chapter five at lunchtime and me and the printed pages just looked at each-other with no understanding, like teenagers and parents. Maybe it doesn’t help that I feel stressed and tired. I feel I need a day of just hiding under a duvet.