Tuesday, 15 March 2011

A Slippery Story

Ski slope names can be rather jaunty and fun – but who was the poor soul who christened ‘Wounded Knee?’ I suspect they are the ones with the limp. Also ‘Brown Shirt’ – someone had a little accident that day, did they? There are pants for that sort of thing.

Likewise ‘The Plunge’. Gosh that sounds good. Follow that with ‘Look Out’, ‘Free Fall’, and ‘Shoulder Roll’ (in that order), and I wonder if there is a slope called ‘A & E’. I like the no nonsense of ‘Steep and Flat’ though - tell it like it is.

I’ll share one sloping tale. In Canada the slopes are labelled green, blue, black and double-black (easy to very difficult). I am a lass happiest on a blue, venturing onto single black here and there when I’m feeling brave (or when Darth Vader, my partner in crime in her black helmet, beckons me to follow her. You don’t refuse Darth.)

We were one of the first up and over the mountain on a day when fresh powder glistened. Going up a steep chair lift, and we saw a boarder making his way down directly below us. That looks like fun, said Darth, and that meant we were heading that way.

Well, we started down and for a moment it was all lovely and good. Then it went bloody steep and Darth swiftly dropped below where we were, into the trees. This meant she couldn’t get back up to me and had to make her own scary way down, knowing full well there were signs everywhere that said ‘Mind the Cliff’. Darth is a double-hard boarder, but even she said it was a bit hairy that way. (Darth Speak for F*&king Hell!)

I, meanwhile, was now on my own, and a bit stuck, with nowhere to go but down. So I sat there for a while, contemplating life, just as the chair lift loomed into sight, carrying some blokes. I sensed them looking at me and so looked up, hoping they would share some boarder words of wisdom.

And you know what they gleefully shouted, all three to a man?

‘You’re f*&ked!’

Yeah, thanks for that, guys. I had pretty much realised the f*&ked-ness of my situation without that helpful reminder.

Needless to say I slid, sloped, slithered, shimmied, and flopped my way down – all to an audience sailing above me in safety on the chair lift. But the rest of them were so nice – they cheered and yelled encouragement (one particularly gratifying shout was ‘Woah - you’re going for it!’ when for a short time I managed to actually look like I knew what I was doing).

I was so glad to eventually reach the bottom, and see Darth trudging her way towards me through the trees. ‘Shall we do it again?’ she asked.

Later, when we went back up that way, we saw a sign had now been put at the entrance to the chair lift slope. Do you know what it said?

Board with Extreme Caution

It was the triumph of my holiday!


Eliza said...

I can remember standing on top of slopes like that, only with skis. The only way is down, it's a great feeling when you get to the bottom in one piece. I miss it, I haven't skied for a few years now.

Out on the prairie said...

Lovely moments on the slope.A good claim to fame.

Kittie Howard said...

Big applause, girl, for getting down that hill in one piece. What a super triumph! (Hub, who skiis, would say you ski better than you think.) I walked away from the ski slopes years ago. I water ski, with opposite reflexes, so finally decided to sit in the ski lodge and sip warm brews.

J.B. Chicoine said...

You are far more daring than I ever have been or will be! My motto is 'keep solid ground under my feet whenever I have the choice!'

Happy Frog and I said...

Wow, you are truly amazing, I could never do that. I would have had to wait till the sent the St Bernard up with some brandy in a barrel to save me!

Old Kitty said...

Well you just did f&cking great!!
:-) You and Darth! So there!!

Take care

Mimi said...

Well,as a lover of green, easy-going slopes, I felt fear even reading this!
I think I'd have walked up to the top of the chair lift and got that back down! Actually, I have done just that on occasion!
Still can't decide if I'm jealous or relieved that I can't afford to go skiing this year!

Unknown said...

Do they have a colour before green - the sit and watch others colour? I'd be happy there. WHAT THE ****! Double black? Wow!

Deniz Bevan said...

What a great story! Congratulations on nailing the slopes - you're much braver than I am. Heck, I haven't even tried downhill skiing yet...

Maria Zannini said...

Wow! You had ice in your veins. LOL. I'm not that brave--or lucky.

Talli Roland said...

I'm glad you stayed safe! Sort of! Ah yes, I remember this syetm of labelling well. I too liked the blue ones. I did manage to end up on black ones several times and the results weren't pretty.

Jack Edwards Poetry said...

Great blog. Really inspiring. I've never been skiing before but would love to do it.

Sylvia Ney said...

Great blog!

Claudia Del Balso said...

Hi Jayne,
Thank you for visiting and joining my blog. I am your latest follower. ;)
Hope to see you in the blogosphere.

Catherine said...

You are a brave woman!!! I've only skied once... end of story... :)

Happy Saturday Jayne!
xo Catherine

Sarah Allen said...

Way to go :) I have no skills on the slopes at ALL. *sigh* oh well...

Sarah Allen
(my creative writing blog)

Beth said...

What an adventure! Congratulations to you for surviving a harrowing run!

Sweetened by Kagi said...

Way to go :)!

I loved reading through your blog, I am now your newest follower and I hope you will follow me too!