Friday, 10 September 2010

Bah to Boots

It happened again last night. There I was, in Westfield shopping centre, trying to squish my calf into a new-season boot. Why do I think my curvy calves will have somehow shrunk in the wash of August? Each year I seem to completely forget and get seduced by leather and buckles. Oh the folly.

Even if I get said calf into said boot, there are two problems. Namely:

  1. How to get calf out again. A tug of war with me, calf, boot, and sales assistant may be very entertaining for thin-calved onlookers, but rather demoralising for the one who is being winched out of nice footwear.

  2. Calf bulge. This is where the calf blossoms like a mushroom over a particularly sturdy stalk, and it is not the type of look one tends to aim for in life.
As much as I love autumn, it does come with a boot-shaped shadow.

Even boots that look massive don’t fit me. This of course does nothing for the self-esteem as I lurk around the ‘wide-leg’ aisle. I find myself suffering from acute symptoms of ‘calf envy’ as I watch others pulling on boots with ease, not needing to tuck and tug at the zip. They look so happy! So carefree! They have so much choice!

Yesterday’s foray into the depressing world of fat-boot shopping was just a small taste of what is to come. Sadly current boots are on their way out, so I do have to find another pair. I promise I will love you and take care of you! The only thing you have to do to make me happy is to fit.

25 comments:

Joanna St. James said...

I am just cinderella big foot borderline wide leg and what i have done in the past have included buying george boots, buying online from an american store if you cant travel there, or find a store that carries hush puppies i think they have some boots and lastly go the dreaded ugly sorry i meant Ugg boots route good luck

Tuppence said...

Oh I feel your pain on this one! I have struggled to find boots that fit without cutting off the circulation to my calves! My solution? To give up and embrace the delights of the ankle boot instead!

I find Jones the Bootmaker and Clark's both have a rather nice selection.

Maggie May said...

I understand completely as I have fat calves..... wide feet. I cannot wear fashionable boots/shoes. Gave up long ago.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Kyna said...

I don't have a problem with boots. I do have a similar problem with trousers. Too much waist spilling over the top...crying in the fitting room because I've sucked in my breath so many times to do up the zip that I'm feeling faint...so upset that I FORGET to shop for boots to make myself feel better.

I do have very 'long' feet, so cute strappy shoes don't look so good on me. But I'm good with that. I'll take big clodhoppers over lard-waist anytime :D

But I do feel your pain. It sucks to not be able to wear something someone else is wearing. When I see a girl walk by wearing a cute strapless shirt, and everything still looks perky in the front, I want to trip her. Is that mean?

Old Kitty said...

Oh Jayne!! I have fat calves - 42 cm (41 if I really want to cut circulation off my lower legs) so I've had to search and search for boots that fit.

I would recommend Duo boots (they do wide fitting but the quality of their boots varies - sometimes it's wide fitting but narrow feet! and they are quite pricey!).

Clarks do wide fit boots but again pricey.

Viva la Diva have a selection of boots for wide calves. And M&S are trying but not trying hard enough!

Good luck and don't give up!!! The perfect boots that fit your calves and feet are out there for you!!!

Take care
x

Plain Jane said...

Skinny-calved people must have weak ankles. That is why they need the boot. Too bad they also determine fashion.

Anonymous said...

Please try Hobbs- found my fist pair of boots for ages there thanks to elastic at the sides. Comes in brown and black!

Shannon O'Donnell said...

ha ha ha ha ha! You are just full of funny, today Jayne. Your comment on my post had me cracking up, and this one made me laugh out loud! :-)

Carolyn V. said...

I'm so sorry Jayne. I love boots. They are my favorite thing to shop for. I wear the old out of style ones too. I hope you find the perfect pair. =)

Amie B said...

oh my gosh. i totally laughed out loud with the calve bulge! i have a muffin top spilling out over my pants. we'd make some pair!

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Maybe try some that just come to the ankle?

A Certain book said...

I sympathise. I used to be slim-calved, now I am the opposite. I hope you find the perfect hug. Hmm, yes, maybe find a pair that comes to the ankle.

MT said...

Fat boot bulge is a problem for me as well. I find a nice long skirt does the trick. Really though, I'd prefer flip flops. ;)

Ann said...

At least it's autumn, better boots than a bikini. Now that can destroy a girl. A x

Donna Hosie said...

Does this mean you will have to buy new boots?

What a heartbreaking situation to be in!!

Wendy Ramer said...

I guess one girl's boot shopping is another girl's (mine) jeans shopping. Went through hell last month but ended up with a great jeans find at New York & Company (chain store). Good luck with the boots.

The Words Crafter said...

I hate shopping for any type of clothing. I'm shaped funny...jeans, tops, dresses....I can do skirts. Regular shoes, sneakers, boots....I have small feet, and they're between regular and wide-shoe shopping is a nightmare just like clothes shopping.

My solution? Just buy books!!!!

I do wish you luck and hope you find what you want AND that you get it at a great price!

Jemi Fraser said...

I'm in the same boot... boat. I blame it on all the sports I played as a kid :)

Fran said...

I feel your pain, I feel your pain. There's nothing like getting a bit of your calf stuck in a zip in front of a teenage shop assistant for putting one off boot shopping for life.

Suzie Grogan said...

I have a similar problem - even the widest of wide boots won't go up my leg and I am always conscious of sales assistants watching as I tug on the zip to the point of ripping out the stitches. Ankle boots just don't look great with skirts unless you are a Victorian woman of easy virtue...

kobico said...

I don't have boot problems, but my body is shaped oddly enough that I can't wear most clothing off the rack. As a result, I only buy things that will still look decent from year to year. As for shoes, I have several pair I've owned for over 20 years that I like so much I just keep having them resoled!

Barbara Scully said...

Oh you are bringing me back to my teenage years when I was a bit of a skinny beanpole with HUGE Calves. Cowboy boots had jusr arrived in Dublin and I remember the trauma of NEVER EVER finding a pair I could get my bloody legs into! I blamed in on playing basketball for years! Still cant fit into most boots, but at least I can take comfort in the fact that the rest of my body has caught up with fat calves! Makes the boot issue less traumatic!

Talli Roland said...

Boots are always a problem, aren't they? I just got a pair from Primark and I love them but oh! The heels! Already my feet are sore and I've only worn them one!

Dyche Designs said...

I hear you . . . I have the same problem, it's so disheartening. :0(

Kathryn Braithwaite said...

I think this is so amusing.Calf envy!!