Finding a balance

One thing I struggle with is creating enough space to write around working a ‘normal’ full-time job. I worry that everyone else manages this with ease, perhaps with a child upon each knee, and in comparison I am disproportionately stupidly slow. I cannot seem to speed up, and so spend ages berating myself for being useless. The knock-on effect is that by the time I do actually try to write, I feel pretty sad about myself and so cannot think of anything to add to the page apart from ‘durr’.

As you can imagine this does not do me any favours!

At the moment I spend approximately around two and a half hours each day commuting to and from my job. Sadly it is the sort of commute where you don’t get a seat, but squeeze into corners on trains and tubes wishing you were somewhere else. So I cannot use that time to write, although I can use it to think – sometimes the best plot ideas come from times like this!

My job is in a busy office, with colleagues that sit fairly close by. I am very conscientious when working, and my job requires me to be on the ball and puzzling out various solutions. So I cannot sneak any writing into the days, and even blog posts (if long) are created at home and emailed to myself at work to whack online when I get a moment. Even that makes me feel guilt-ridden (it doesn’t take much, I admit).

At home I don’t have anywhere really to write. My computer is in an awkward place (the only spot it can go in) and I have to sit cross-legged on my bed in order to use it. It’s not ideal… but it is workable. The only thing that isn’t is me! I get in from work each evening, eat, fold myself into the spot in front of the computer, but no real writing happens! A few words, a few paragraphs… I know it is still all helping but it doesn’t seem to be that fast a creation. I also need my sleep… I get up early, so need to start snoozing at least by eleven, or else I am a cranky girl.

So there’s my big conundrum – am I really just going very slowly with writing/redrafting, or am I expecting too much of myself?

I think it is all about finding a balance, and I seem to be permanently teetering on one side or the other. Maybe I need to be more organised – leave the house earlier so I get to work and have time to write down the ideas / blog / catch up before work starts? And then only do that in the morning, so the evenings are just for writing. That sounds good… but is it realistic? In a way I suppose it is… set the alarm earlier, start the day earlier… there is really nothing stopping me apart from my reluctance to stir from bed!

How do you do it? Do you write full-time, or do you also fit writing (or being creative) in around a busy job or being a busy mum? If so how do you find a balance and make time for it?

And a big hello to all people following, and leaving comments. I appreciate it so much, thank you!